Well we ended up with just 3 inches of snow and the kids had school today so all is good . Today seems to be a better day as the chest congestion and all is much better than the last few weeks maybe this thing has run its course Yipee !!!!
I have been feeling a bit well more than a bit depressed as of late I am so hoping the sickness is getting a move on to someplace other than here. I have a severe case of cabin fever and you are right Lynn some good ol sunshine will be a welcome change to all this cold and snow.
Brian has acquired a very large doll and precious moments collection for his Ebay sales and it has taken over the living room which puts an axe on the flylady cleaning routine and not to mention with a house full of girls a bunch of baby dolls are quite appealing to try to get to 🙂 Which makes corralling the kiddos a bigger challenge than normal.
I have been having some challenging feelings with oldest daughter lately and have been trying to work through them. As you all know already my 4 youngest children are adopted through the foster-care system of our state and so we have a unique set of dynamics in our home. Any way she has always maintained that she wants no part of her birth family to which I an Brian have said don’t say that you may one day change your mind and want to seek them out. Well we have offered to give her all the information which is a lot of where they are ect. We have chosen not to give any negative details to her situation as we feel like that would be wrong as people can change don’t mean they do but they can and we aren’t the type to run people down even though we know for a fact they have not been as kind to us.We had a phone call the other day from the birth brother and asked her about it just in passing and got the response that she had no clue she only wanted to find the sister which is all good no matter who she wants to find that her choice now that she is an adult. What I’m having a hard time with is the lies still constant lying she has pursued them all and not the sister at all ??? so why not just say hey I’m curious. Still looks at us and says I have no clue how they even got the cell number ??? what the message says you called me and gave me your number so I’m calling you back. so we asked that and said we are ok with you finding them just be honest and say you gave them the number. which she responds I did no such thing…. It’s a cell phone you can’t just look in the phone book and get it. any way since she has such a history of lying to me I am just having some flags here. So I have been struggling with some odd feelings here since all this is happening. I guess I should mention that she is the biological daughter of a family member which has caused a huge rift with my family for 17 years now and I have paid a high price to parent this child. I do love her to spite that she is like loving a cactus most of the time I usually get spiked lol. also no other family member has the cell number so we can’t think that it came from anybody else except Brian , myself or her. I am having some old wounds opening and I don’t like it a bit . Sorry again to Dump here but there just isnt any place else that I feel safe to unload. as I type this I think maybe I wont post but just send it to the trash as I have a few recent posts since I feel like I’m such a downer all the time In fact I’m not I’m usually a silver lining kind of girl in reality just seems to be a bunch of stuff happening all at once. Brian goes back to the Doctor about his vocal cords on Tuesday the 1st and says he can’t feel much of a difference in how his throat feels so we are hoping that his new scope testing shows some improvement to the growth. I will keep you all posted on it. The young ones parents seem to be doing better and working on their marriage issues and we have heard no more use of the word divorce so I am ever hopeful about all of that since you all know I am way too attached to Sierra and Levi I love them like they are my own since we have them so much, kinda hard not to get so caught up with them. Ok enough of my wallowing in self-pity I need to wake Brian from his and Levi’s nap We have not been sleeping much around this place…. go figure 🙂 I think I will ask him if we can go to the thrift store near us and I can rummage through the stuff a bit maybe we will find some great Ebay treasure 🙂
Take care all hope you are all doing well and I am gonna try to be more positive in my frame of mind. what is your opinions on anti depressants??? they have talked about giving me some I am not sure how I feel about them. I was on them years back after we lost our little baby in 96 for a while and it seemed to me that all they (Doctors) wanted to do was load me up with pills which I don’t want at all. Brian and I have talked and both are just not sure what I should say to this. Input would be appreciated as I value your opinions. Ok this time I’m rally gonna go.
much love to you all with lots of hugs too 🙂