School’s out for summer !!

HI there

Been checking blogs but been lazy about commenting, Sorry.  My plans of having my house ready for summer have fallen to the way side although I did get some of it done. I have been collecting things to keep the kids busy on the hot hot- hot days or when it’s raining cats and dogs. My computer charger is out again the one I had  Jordan gave me and he’d had it years so the actual computer posts may be slim for awhile I will have to use my phone or tablet which I’m still learning both. I somehow deleted all my crafty space photos ugh!!  Been crazy around here as is normal  🙂  Will got bit by a squirrel on Friday all the way to the bone on his thumb trying to put a baby bird back into its nest. My girls are doing good and looking forward to the summer of junque journaling. Sierra and Levi want to paint so we have that covered too. Will is another story between boy and man so he gets restless and its hard to find things for him to do. My Dad will need yard help so that should keep them both busy.

For me I’m still wavering between bouts of feeling ok then the next sobbing like a fool in the oddest places I’m sure people look at me and wonder if I’m insane. I mean how upsetting can one grocery isle be !!  The windmill farm just leaves me in a heap and I can see them from my front door so I cant avoid them. any way don’t want to be a downer so I press on and hope that the peace comes sooner than later but will just roll with it as that’s all I can do. I love each of you and have had you in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing you all happy crafting, safe journeys, or whatever you are doing today.

Take care my dear friends and I’ll be in touch soon.

Hugs,Shelly

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4 thoughts on “School’s out for summer !!

  1. Shelly, I’m so sorry to learn of your troubles.

    I love you, girlfriend. This may come across as harsh, please forgive me if I hurt your feelings. You have been, and continue to be, under a mountain of stress. All the recent events with your Mother’s struggles to live then her recent passing; siblings that have continue to put pressure on you; your darling children and their health issues; taking full time care of your grandchildren; your loving husband, Brian, and your housework.

    Girlfriend, you are overloaded and stressed to the gills. It is no wonder you break down in the grocery store.

    It is high time you seek out the pastor of your church. Talk with him/her about the stress you are under. It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help. You need to get away from family and responsibilities at least once a week for an hour or two.

    It is imperative you get some time for yourself away from family. If you don’t want to seek out your pastor then find someplace where you can be around other like minded adults. I know your financial budget is tight and won’t be stretched much before you have other problems.

    Join a bowling league, go to the local library for an hour or two of quiet, find out if there is a Michael’s or Hobby Lobby near you and take your craft stuff there to join a crop.

    Seriously, my loving friend, you need some Shelly time. Brian gets his time when he goes on his hunts for things to sell on eBay. You deserve the time away yourself.

    Your home will not fall in, your children will not turn into hellions, and you won’t hurt anyone’s feelings by going off somewhere for an hour or two.

    I know the pressure you are under is immense. Not seeking time for yourself will only cause you more difficulty and could very possibly harm your own health.

    Sorry if I have stepped on your toes here. I do it out of love and concern for you.

    Love you – Leslie

  2. You don’t come across harsh and I am grateful for your words of wisdom. I know I need some form of outlet but with the summer coming the chance of getting away is much harder since Brian has to put so much time and energy into ebay to provide for our family. Melissa has no one else to help with the kids while she works since she really don’t make a great salary. Jordan is living in his own house away from them and is away on small escort jobs and Melissa’s parents are moving to Nashville for her step Dads work so I am the only cookie in the jar most times. Melissa Bless her has been helping me with my kiddies trying to relieve me although I know she too is really weary with all that is going on. I have been at a stand still on my crafty corner and cant seem to make myself go and enjoy all that I’ve done and enjoy the supplies I’ve purchased which I was really thrifty and was able to add another mass of goodies which I didn’t need but the retail therapy was fun and it was what my parents wanted for me.
    In the fall our church has a class called grief share for and led by other members who’ve gone through the loss of a loved one and so many others said they thought I’d find a lot of help there so that is my plan just have to get through the summer. My doctor put me on antidepressants which have helped some but do not in any way shape or form take away what I feel missing my Mom. I know it will take time and just don’t like the feeling of being out of control. I feel like I am not there to help my family when they need me and that only adds to my being upset with myself. They all tell me they are ok and will be fine but I worry about them none the less since I love them so. I really need to get myself a structured plan and even if it means surfing the web or hiding out with my goodies just enjoy the peace and quiet. I don’t have anyone to blame about not grasping my time at night on school nights since my kids went to bed at 8 pm but just couldn’t push myself in there. Need to put on my big girl panties and just do it.
    Gotta run,
    love you too my friend,
    Shelly

  3. I totally agree with Leslie and have thought this for a long time Shelly and think I’ve said as much to you before. The problem is within us and we can think of thousands of reasons to justify why we didn’t do this or that. Yes the children are now home from school but you could go for a walk when they are in bed if you can’t craft – and I know that stress takes away our ability or want to craft. Mine did a disappearing act for a while. Leslie was exactly the same when she was feeling down but it isn’t selfish to think of yourself and give yourself some space away from the family even if it is only 30 minutes a day. You can function better and cope better if you have that small break.
    To be honest Shelly I don’t think grief counselling is good for people – only my opinion but I have seen it in action as we have similar things going on here. A good friend got involved in grief counselling when she lost her husband and her grief lasted longer, I felt, because of it as she was continually reminded of her loss plus she had the added distress of other peoples loss. I finally persuaded her to stop going and do something more positive with her life, she decided to do voluntary visiting in a hospital and she soon began to enjoy life more, of course she still wept for her husband and missed him but that grief no longer dominated her life. Your grief is compounded of family stress as well as the loss of your mum.
    I do hope that the stress in your life becomes less very soon but start thinking of Shelly 🙂
    Love you dear friend
    Lynn xxxxx

    • You know Lynn I talked with Brian about both yours and Leslies answer to my post and I agree that I need to find some ME time. Where this may seem silly is I don’t know what I should do. My entire life has always been packing babies on my hip and changing diapers or chasing them around. Where to start this…. I guess I’ve always been a care giver even as a small child because of the abusive acts in our home my Mom relied on me to be a help to her more like I was a little adult. I am not angry about any of this and on her death bed my Mom repeatedly told me how sorry she was that so much had to be layed on my little shoulders but there just wasent anyone else. But each thing that happened has made me the person I am today and most days I like me. Brian and I had Jereme when I’d just turned 16 and seems like there has never been a time I’ve not been toting a child around. If not just my own someone elses since I baby sat and just felt sorry for my brothers kids and it seemed to be what I was good at. All this being said , doing something for myself seems so alien. I think there in lies my problem. Brian and I went right from high school kids to parents so there were never really any dates. So anyway in our conversation last night we both laughed like fools because our answer to what we should do if we were alone was go out to eat or just rest , This past year has been exhausting for the two of us. Funny for him too because everything we do is centralized around our brood. So I really need to think long and hard on what I think I can do that would just be for me, and if it benefits the rest? that will be a bonus.
      On to a funny..I did get to be in my crafty corner yesterday as while filling out some school forms to take to the pediatrician to get Ariel some school help ( only don’t help this year but maybe we can start out good next year) P.J. my crazy kitty jumped up on the desk knocking over my iced tea soaking almost my whole desk, the carpet and my cell phone ect. took me hours to get the sticky mess cleaned up. I sat there thinking what a great space I have and that I need to get in there up to my elbows in paper ribbon and stamps and if I cry sometimes so be it. I miss my Mom and you know that’s alright.
      Now I have been trying my hand at blogging on my phone and I can read it but cant post ?? So today I will try on my tablet and see if I’m smart enough to figure it out. We’ve been calling on prices for power cords for my laptop and WOW somewhere between 40.00 and 100.00 dollars, I only paid 329.00 for the laptop 4 years ago seems like highway robbery !!
      Ok enough blabbering I have some work to do and Brian will need his computer in a bit so I’m off for now.
      Thank you both for your words of wisdom I really do appreciate them and the friendship of you two. Thanks for bearing with me I love you both.

      Much love and many big hugs,
      Shelly

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